Monday, December 07, 2009

We've got an app for that

So I returned home to Australia for a little break. I hadn't been home in three years, work had kicked up a gear and my future plans had to be thought about. I'd heard horror stories about people deciding to go home to Aus, packing up, leaving and when they get home hating it. So, in an effort to see what it would be like for me I made a conscious decision when I left for a few weeks to have nothing to do with London, to not reply to text messages, emails or Facebook messages – to basically leave the UK as if I was leaving it for good. Not a dry run, but an experiment. After nearly three years away, it surprised me how refreshing it was. But I got my answer - the UK is home for now - I missed it far too much to leave for any stretch of time.

So, with this self-imposed exile it was interesting to return home and have the same question – where have you been and what are you doing? Here I was relying on Facebook to keep people up to date, but apparently the blog helped with this more, so I’ll get back on it. In the past year, I've written three posts

One of the primary reasons for the lack of blogging is that I don’t think I’ve got the time – but that’s actually bullshit - it's like saying 'I'm far to busy at work', but spending most of your time emailing your mates. Two years ago, when sitting in an airport, I’d take out a scrap of paper and write some ideas – some dot points – about my trips, or what I observed, or anything. Nowadays, I’ve got a Blackberry and, the worst offender - an iPhone.

Why is an iPhone worse? Applications. These little fuckers do everything that you never needed them to do. I know that if I want to make a spaghetti carbonara I need mushrooms, pasta, cream, bacon maybe an onion, and some parmesan. And I know that I can go to Sainsbury’s to get it. But this nowadays is a mystery to me unless I check iRecipes - and it tells me exactly what I thought anyway!

But some of these recipes apps are alright. I wouldn’t know a salmon soufflé if I hadn’t typed salmon, cheese and eggs (the only items in my fridge) in to my phone, and who knew iMonopoly can be addictive. But some apps are just ludicrous.

For example, I was sitting in Munich airport two months ago fiddling through my phone and I found an app called, I shit you not - Cycle. What is Cycle? Well, cycle is an app that lets you know when you are about to have your period. Now, not that I’m questioning its usefulness, I’m just questioning its practicality. Who needs an app for this? Just ask the boyfriend. I guarantee you he knows better than anyone, anything or any application ever invented.

Sure, we have no fucking idea what size shoe or waist you have (we know your cup size - trust me), and the leverage involved in the toilet seat going down baffles us. But two days before we sense we should make ourselves scarce for fear of being abused for no reasons whatsoever, and for a week later productivity at work triples and we spend more time with our mates - there's nothing else to do. You should have Boyfriend by Apple – that would show up on iTunes Top 10 let me tell you.

Along with that is Facebook, the constant bane of many lives, but yet you can’t seem to say no. Now I’m quite hypocritical here. Half the time nowadays when I’m on holiday and see something or do something, I’m not reaching for the camera, I’m updating my status, because let’s face it, we mostly take photos of things to show other people, so what better than to tell the straight away? Although I do think cameras are better for somethings, because let's face it, the the update ‘Bart Nash is making a home porn’ is far better on film.

But, next year I need to get off the Facebook at the airport and think up blogs that I used to write.So 2010 is a new year, but it's going to be difficult to top 2009.

I did say this in 2008, granted, but the years are obviously so different. This time in 2008 I'd just got back from a fair bit of travelling, my boss had resigned, and I was thinking about moving house. So now sitting here typing this after a day of house hunting and sorting through my travel photos I'll have to wrap it up and get some rest as I want to be fresh for my bosses leaving party on Wednesday - wow, how times change!!

But that means 2010 will be epic. 2009 started as such an unassuming year, then it threw in some unbelievable twists, turns, trip and travels. Starting afresh, over the next two weeks I'll summarise the year quickly in four three-month sections (and let's face it, half of you are going to be bored over the Christmas break).

The Hangover: New Year’s to Vegas in three helpful steps

Okay then, to be honest with you I’ve spent nearly all of this year travelling and working. Up until my focus changed to other things in August, all I really had to show for the year was a lot of time in Customs and more time on the computer and blackberry.

My first memory of 2009 was welcoming in the year from the crispy freshness of Edinburgh Castle’s garden with 20,000 of my closest friends, a Groove Armada concert that we hasd snuck into, and Joel doing his best impersonation of Anthony Keidas on a bender – this was going to get very interesting, very quick. The rest of January seems to be a blur. All my intentions of a detox were soon out the window, and the get fit before football season kicked in was quickly quashed by the increase in responsibility and volume at work...well, and the pub, but work sounds so much more productive, doesn’t it?

Some side trips were the order of 2009, namely a weekend in Cologne to play a German Aussie Rules team (don’t prepare for a game by having a pub crawl till 6am the night/morning before), but it was really all about that little town in Nevada – and fuck didn’t we do a fear and loathing trip.

It contained everything – private tables in clubs, gambling, Elvis, ruined marriages, trashed hotel rooms, Playboy bunnies and all on 13 hours sleep in four days. Now the adage is ‘what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas’, but it’s not like we did anything too bad, it’s just a city that doesn’t sleep and you don’t sleep with it. So much to do, so little time to do it, and for a young impressionable lad – so little to say no to.

Who here has seen the Hangover? If you have, there’s a picture show right at the end with the credits, I think that’s the best way to show off the Thursday to Monday, and let’s face it, if you’re trying to get through a whole year in 2 weeks, brevity is key.


At 12:35 AM, Blogger oakleyses said...

louis vuitton handbags, oakley sunglasses, louboutin, longchamp outlet, nike shoes, louis vuitton outlet stores, chanel handbags, burberry outlet, prada outlet, jordan shoes, tiffany and co, michael kors outlet, tory burch outlet, louis vuitton outlet, longchamp handbags, nike free, true religion jeans, michael kors outlet, kate spade outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet, tiffany and co, prada handbags, polo ralph lauren outlet, michael kors outlet, michael kors outlet, longchamp handbags, oakley sunglasses, ray ban sunglasses, kate spade handbags, burberry outlet, louis vuitton outlet, louboutin outlet, louboutin, coach factory outlet, air max, air max, coach outlet, gucci outlet, christian louboutin shoes, michael kors outlet, coach purses, ray ban sunglasses, michael kors outlet, louis vuitton, coach outlet store online, true religion jeans, oakley sunglasses cheap

At 12:35 AM, Blogger oakleyses said...

ralph lauren, lululemon, air max, hollister, north face, nike air max, polo lacoste, vanessa bruno, timberland, vans pas cher, louboutin, louis vuitton, oakley pas cher, air max pas cher, nike roshe run, air max, true religion outlet, barbour, sac longchamp, air force, hollister, sac louis vuitton, nike free, polo ralph lauren, nike trainers, louis vuitton uk, nike roshe, sac hermes, longchamp, michael kors, sac burberry, sac guess, mulberry, new balance pas cher, converse pas cher, sac louis vuitton, hogan outlet, nike tn, north face, true religion outlet, ray ban pas cher, michael kors, air jordan, nike blazer, nike free pas cher, michael kors pas cher, abercrombie and fitch, ray ban sunglasses

At 12:36 AM, Blogger oakleyses said...

mac cosmetics, mont blanc, marc jacobs, canada goose outlet, nike huarache, vans shoes, soccer jerseys, hollister, giuseppe zanotti, beats by dre, abercrombie and fitch, longchamp, insanity workout, celine handbags, bottega veneta, ghd, nfl jerseys, north face outlet, chi flat iron, ugg boots, birkin bag, ugg australia, canada goose, herve leger, ugg pas cher, rolex watches, valentino shoes, canada goose uk, canada goose, ferragamo shoes, canada goose, ugg boots, uggs outlet, north face jackets, soccer shoes, asics running shoes, new balance shoes, p90x, lululemon outlet, canada goose jackets, mcm handbags, instyler, babyliss pro, ugg, wedding dresses, jimmy choo outlet, reebok outlet, nike roshe run

At 12:37 AM, Blogger oakleyses said...

parajumpers, karen millen, air max, converse, pandora charms, moncler, louboutin, moncler, links of london, lancel, juicy couture outlet, oakley, hollister, pandora charms, supra shoes, thomas sabo, canada goose, gucci, wedding dresses, timberland boots, swarovski crystal, air max, coach outlet store online, moncler, ray ban, canada goose, moncler, ugg, louis vuitton, swarovski, hollister, montre homme, moncler, hollister clothing store, ralph lauren, rolex watches, moncler outlet, moncler, iphone 6 cases, baseball bats, juicy couture outlet, toms shoes, vans, pandora jewelry, ugg, converse shoes


Post a Comment

<< Home