Friday, August 18, 2006

Mum - i'm getting married!

Well not exactly. Let me explain. A few weeks ago I went to a club called Turnmills - and for all those reading in London - you know this can't end well.

The place is run by the Russian mafia. All the security and people on the door are all big Russkis, while the bar staff are all young Lithuanian girls who live above the club, which isn't uncommon in the UK. Anyway, I had to leave my bag in the cloak room and my email address as a contact. Three weeks later I receive this from my new 'wife':

My name is Maria . I'm 26 years old. I was never married. I do not have children. And you may see my photos in the letter but i may describe myself as charming, beautiful and kind girl who has a big blue eyes and gray and somewhere blondy hair. Probably it will be interesting why I search for the second half under the Internet. I simply want to try the happiness. Now I probably should explain to you why I have chosen you. You have seemed to me very nice.You can not believe me, but at us, as it seems, much in common. Excuse me for such courageous assumption. At least I want to believe in it. I would like that our correspondence delivered to us great pleasure. I do not put before myself the purpose to leave from Russia, but if to me to be presented such opportunity I shall leave. I hope, that you don't upset in the letter. With impatience I shall wait for your answer. Before hand thanks. I simply want to try the happiness.

P. S. If you find of a mistake in my letter please excuse me Maria.

I hope she truly loves me?


At 10:50 PM, Blogger Cat Kroll said...

Bart. Just read that for the first time. That has gotta be one of the guttsyist moves by a chick. Good on her. Why don't u ship her out? I'm sure there's a try before u buy policy?


At 11:41 AM, Blogger Bart said...

Kit Kat - do the words Russian Mafia sound appealing???

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