Sunday, October 07, 2007

We've got two World Cups - we wouldn't want to be greedy

So Australia is out of the World Cup. Bit of a bummer, but what’s worse is being pushed out by that spastic sporting power of the world - England - and now having to deal with them all!!!!! Now I don’t mind losing, I really don’t. Being Australian it’s not something we often see, but there you go. What I don’t like is being dragged down to the shit level played by England, the world’s most boring rugby team. As the tale goes William Ellis was playing football one day and decided to pick up the ball and run with it – and 184 years later English rugby has decided to return to its routes and do nothing but kick the ball. All you do is kick it. It's the most boring style of sport anyone has ever seen!
Latest English rugby recruit had all the appropriate skills needed

But good on you my pasty ancestors. May I say one thing? If you are English, have a go. Come right ahead. But don’t give up just yet. How can you be so excited when you haven’t actually won the World Cup – YOU WON A SEMI FINAL?? That’s the most bizarre thing - you haven’t actually won anything yet. A country of your size, proud history and talent, maybe rather than celebrating being able to make it in to a final, go for victory. You might actually win a trophy.

What I can’t stand are those that never actually succeed, having a stab at us being knocked out. To you I say this:

South Africa – ha, wouldn’t waste my time. In annuals of history you truly are Australia's whipping boy. World Cup and World Cup - in sooo many different sports - never has a country been beaten by us so many times. South Africa loves to play the role of our bridesmaid.

Face down in front of an Aussie - a South African pastime

New Zealand – ohhh, our little brothers can actually do something on a world stage. Oops, sorry my bad. Fiji, Tonga, Solomon Islands and the rest of the Pacific islands can actually do something. Seriously guys, the day you have a player in your team that is actually from New Zealand, I’ll give you some respect. No wonder you win, you’re a team made up of 12 countries. Fuck, you can’t even get your own flag. You just saw the Aussie one and said: “Um, hey bro, let’s just colour those stars in red bro. Bro.”And another thing, why does every kiwi need to wear a t-shirt that says ‘I call NZ home’. Its not that we don’t know where you’re from, we just don’t care. But hey, you lost anyway. At least we've got cricket. What on God's green earth do you have now? Four more years boys. Four more years.

Put your hands up for Detroit!
So after walking home from the pub I copped all manner of abuse from every second person. So I got home and went to bed…it was 5pm. The last time I felt this way was the end of the 2003 World Cup. I don’t think I spoke for three days after – Naomi was in heaven. Although Coomba being told by a homeless man that we got beaten in rugby had to be the best. Even the homeless were having a laugh. So with all that, it is with great thought I could seriously consider going home, as I don’t think I can deal with this shit. What a good segue to another goodbye.

Good old Care Bear – Carrie Bailey. There are some people that you just connect with, some people that you just get, some people that you may not speak to for months but when you see each other, it’s as if no time has passed. It’s quiet refreshing when you meet someone like that. Pisses everyone else off that they had no idea what we were laughing at when we didn't have to speak to know what each other was thinking most of the time, just a look. Have a good one Singo – skiing, Spanish bars and autobiographies about mirrors will never be the same. See you soon.

Speaking of home; here's to Oli anad Sac. The two blokes who decided to take the 26 hour flight home to watch Geelong win the flag and then return to London 25 hours later - good to see Channel 7 decided to give you a new story on it!!!! Olly on tour story.

Sac and Olly- to the left, to the left